If you have read my post from Mother's Day, this post will come as no surprise. This is my eighth Father's Day for my Pop to be in Heaven. I felt it was important this year to tell the men in my life - from my childhood to my first kiss to those that have married my girlfriends to those I have reconnected with. This is the poem and letter that they received in the mail (hopefully by Father's Day).
Some may physically look like him
But it is much more than just appearance
You are men of wisdom
Not necessarily wisdom that comes from a book
But that from life
You are gentleman
You open doors, hold hands when helping a lady into a car
Or you place your hand lovingly to the small of her back
To assure her that you are there, no matter what
You are faithful
Faithful to God, Faithful to Family,
Faithful to those you have let into your heart
You are strength
Not necessarily strength that can physically move something
Strength that supports a family
Strength that supports friends
Strength that the person who has given you their heart knows will
always lift them up
You are grace
Grace that is dignity, forgiveness, compassion, kindness,
and simple goodness
You are simple men
Whether it is the simple man of Skynyrd that listens to and loves his mother
Or that of the urban dictionary that is grateful for the little things in life, humble, knows what matters and more importantly what doesn’t, of great character, heart of gold that loves nature,
You know that your time is short, you make the best of every breath you take, and are brave
You are accomplished
Your accomplishments are not awards hung in frames on walls
Your children are your accomplishments or something you may or don’t even know
Your greatest gift is that of your imperfections.
You embrace your imperfections
For those imperfections that
you are loved.
For those with daughters, you have been and remain their first love. You have taught them what it means to be respected, to be loved, to be protected and expect any man in their lives to do the same … for no matter her age, she will always be Daddy’s Princess
For those with sons, look at the way they treat the women in their lives. The women that they hold close and love with all their hearts, and the women that they call friends.
For others, you have taken in children that are not even yours and made them yours.
I find myself, at almost fifty, still expecting the men in my life to live up the imperfect standard my Pop set. Pop was not perfect but, in reality, those imperfections are what have taught me patience, love, grit, commitment, and hard work. For some, you will spend the time with your father and your children and, not on purpose, take for granted that there will be more to come. Treat each day and moment as if it is not guaranteed.
For some, this is your first Father’s Day without your pillar, your strength, your teacher, your best friend, your champion, your hero. I ask you to look in the mirror and see the man that your father was because he gave you all his gifts. Look in the mirror and know that your children see you in the same light you saw your father...this is how generations become great.
That is how we know our purpose
I will not see see most of you on this Father’s Day but, know that you are amazing, loving, simple men that have in some way shaped the woman that I am evolving into. I have seen your love for your family and your children and wish that others loved unconditionally the same way. I have been blessed to experience your love. On this day, as every day, I know you are amazing in your own way. I thank each one of you for the impact you have had on my life.
Because of you, I am a better person.
