Micro Argument: The American Bison and the 15 year old American Boy

Prologue:  I am the mother of two boys.  One of which is now 23 and the other is 16.  About 10 years ago, an email popped up from my older son's English teacher.  My oldest had asked his English teacher if he could write his comparison contrast paper over his mother (Me) and the Devil.   The teacher wanted to know if this was okay with me; of which I responded, "Only if I get a rebuttal."  That was when I first drafted this post.  Well, my son chose a different topic because, "I just could not find enough mom."   Step into your time machine and move to present day.  I am currently teaching a micro argument unit in my Senior English course and have found that the students are really struggling with the concept of a micro argument, how to embed quotations, and even more importantly, how to find credible information on the Internet.  So, it was time to dig out the comparison/contrast rebuttal that I had written ten years ago and turn it into a micro argument for my students to use an example.

Micro Argument Example

There is little difference between a 15 year-old American Boy and the American Bison and these differences go much deeper than that of just height and smell of.  The confusion can be easy to see because the average height of the American Bison nears six foot ("American Bison") and the average height of the 15 year old American Boy ("Americans Slightly Taller, Much Heavier Than Four Decades Ago") in 2002 was five feet eight and half inches tall.    And there is the obvious identifier in that both are part of the Linnaean Scientific Classification System in the Mammalian Class/Chordate Phylum/Animalia Kingdom ("American Bison Fact Sheet")(O'Neil).  Beyond that, if an individual has not tended to the American Boy, the similarities are not as evident. At first smell, the individual not familiar, may think that there is a herd of American Bison near.  But no, you have entered the sacred pasture of the American 15 year old boy.  Now their pastures will appear very different.  For the American Bison, they are known to have lived in the open grasslands of the United States and are typically nomadic ("American Bison Fact Sheet").  The American 15 year old boy inhabits a number of pastures.  Having been spotted during daylight hours within the halls of numerous American high schools, but their main pasture is that of their parent’s home.  This pasture of the parent’s home does set the American Boy apart from the American Bison.  This is commonly referred to as a mama’s boy syndrome which is contrary to the nomadic life of the bison, but one can easily segway back to the commonalities.  For example, both have a keen sense of smell.  For the American Bison, their keen sense of smell enables them to detect the odor of other animals up to 1.2 miles away from them ("American Bison") and the American Boy can do the same when detecting the smell of food.  Both male American Bison and the American Boy are known to mark their areas.  While the American Bison male will wallow, wallow in others and then urinate in the wallow to mark it ("American Bison Fact Sheet"), the American Boy does wallow but this is typically seen during athletic endeavors such as football or wrestling.  The American Boy utilizes their pungent body odor to mark their territory that is typically the result of their aversion to water which is evident by their lack of showering; but it can be noted here that the American Bison is known to be very fond of water ("American Bison Fact Sheet").  If these have not made a convincing argument, we can go with simple numbers as presented in the San Diego Zoo’s “American Bison Fact Sheet”.  While the American Bison adult male can grow to be 1200 to 2000 pounds, this compares to the amount of trash that the American Boy can generate and keep in their living space (typically, known as their bedroom).  Why they feel compelled to keep this amount of trash is one of many questions the American Mother goes to her grave with unanswered.  When born, the American Bison weighs approximately 35 pounds which compares to the amount of food that the American Boy can eat in one sitting.  Typically, this is in the form of pizza, hamburgers, and fries.  The American Bison male matures some 3 years later than the female of their species which mimics the similar maturation milestones met by the American Boy in relation their species counterpart, the American Girl.  Whether it is the height of the two, to the weight comparisons, to the ability to smell or to be smelled; the evidence is in the numbers that the 15 year old American Boy the American Bison are indeed very similar creatures.

Works Cited

"American Bison Fact Sheet." American Bison Fact Sheet. San Diego Zoo, Mar. 2009. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.

"American Bison." Webpath Express. Canadian Musuem of Nature, 09 Jan. 2015. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.

"Americans Slightly Taller, Much Heavier Than Four Decades Ago." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 04 Jan. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.

"Classification of Living Things: Linnaean Classification of Humans." Classification of Living Things: Linnaean Classification of Humans. Ed. Dennis O'Neil. Palomar College Department of Behavioral Science, 2012. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.

Online Dating: If I Were A Boy / Think Like a Man

I have tried my hand, again at the online dating scene.  I paid for a month (yes, only a month) on a site (doesn't matter which one).  I have texted with a couple of the men that have expressed interest, met a couple and am still in contact with the amazing man I first posted about when I started my blog a year ago but there are a few new realizations that I have come to in just a wee month.

Queen Bey said it best, "If I were a boy I think I could understand..." this whole online dating culture and it is a culture. I am Curious George. For those that know me, they also know that I have no fear in asking questions. I have also seen Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man."  Here are some of the things that I have come to understand...

Yes, they can arrive looking as if they have rolled out of bed and thrown on what they wanted and just go.  Men don't seem to worry as to whether or not they are going to make an impression on you when they first meet because they really don't have to.   Why do they not have to?!? Because they have a plethora of women to choose from and before they even meet you in person have already decided if you meet their physical requirement.   For most men, that is HOT! and usually within a certain weight range that I have not been in since the fat fairy arrived in the third grade.  I have only met a handful of the men that I have communicated with from online dating.  I do make myself presentable to make a good solid physical first impression.  I make sure that I don't wear heels if the guys are as tall or just a couple inches taller than me.  I make sure that my make-up is natural, not looking like I have attend the drag queen's school of make-up.

"And chase after girls."  I have met a number that are serial daters.  I can't keep straight which load of laundry I need to do next let alone have three dates with three separate women in one week. I have to pencil in when I get to pee let alone to schedule three dates in one week. But, there is an element of "the chase" that guys seem to like, the element of surprise.  I don't look like someone that

There is the "canceled" criteria. That is that if someone cancels on you three times, then they are history.  Why give them three times?  I think if the person cancels on you and they cannot give you a reason that in this age of the Internet you cannot easily locate to corroborate their story (Yes!  I am aware that I have trust issues.) then there isn't another time to cancel.  Why waste your time?  Also, just own it.  If it isn't there for you, then don't give them any kind of hope that there may be another date or even a relationship.

There is the "meeting the kids" criteria.  This seems to depend on the age of the kids.  Adult kids you will probably never meet unless you have moved in with the person. This I am completely on board with is that the ones that live with you (full-time or part-time) will depend on a variety of factors.  When we are exclusive.   Only after a year of dating exclusively.  As even friends, you won't even meet them because they don't need to be confused that a male and female can be "just friends" because we know that isn't reality.  Matter of fact, I was watching a movie with my teenager (a boy) that had a mother and step-father situation.  He stated that I was not allowed to date until he had moved out of my house.  I looked at him and said, "Just what makes you think I am not in a relationship now and you just don't know it?"  He stares blankly at me and then states, "Because you don't go out enough."  He is gone most weekends and that is when I schedule my social time.

The physical relationship.  This is something that I am very candid about.  Having a conversation with a male friend (said amazing male I met a year ago) and we both could agree on one thing, that most women are not capable of having a purely physical relationship.  This meaning that the individuals have sex, no cuddling, no talking about their lives, no fixing breakfast, thank you so now you can leave.  I know that I am not capable of letting my feelings enter into a physical relationship.  I am straight up front on this subject.  I am not a notch on some one's bed post.  I have no interest in being some one's fluffer.  I believe that the friendship has to be there before the benefits and even the benefits are something that comes with an exclusive or monogamous relationship that is going somewhere.  I feel that Steve Harvey's 90-day rule has merit.

I go into this culture knowing that I am worth someone investing their time, their heart, their life in me as I know there is someone out there for me to do the same.  I recently described my self to someone as "Sarcastic.  47.  Curvy."  I am someone that has lived life and at times, yes, it has lived me.   When I talk to guys, they want someone that is mature, doesn't play games, yada, yada, yada...but then they want all that wrapped up in the package of Barbie.  I have my eyes wide open. I also know that I am worth taking my time in this next chapter of my life.