The Purpose of Random Quotes

"The art of survival is a story that never ends."

American Hustle (2013) 

Irving Rosenfeld(Christian Bale)

Quotes are very motivating for me.   If you were to look through the photos on my phone, you would find a lot of those quote/pictures that float around Facebook.  It isn't that I don't have personal photos because I do.  I save them because the specific quote and/or picture actually struck me.   Sometimes, they strike because they are funny and others because they are true but mainly, they strike me because they are pointing out something in me.  It is sorta like a form of therapy.   Today, the above quote arrived in my email.  I receive the Reel Life Wisdom Quotes for the day from http://www.reellifewisdom.com.   They are quotes from movies and fall under the different categories of Love: Connecting to Your Supporting Cast, Self: Define Your Character, Life: Build Your Story, and Random Bits of Wisdom.   There are a plethora of categories below each heading and if you are a movie person, you will absolutely love this one.

I have been struggling to start this blog since the start of the new year and with it being an integral part of my overall resolution for the year, I really needed to do it.   I opened my e-mail today and this quote hit me.   I am a survivor because I have walked so many paths that seem to never end.   Just when I think that I am headed into a quiet existence, Life has a way of rearing it's ugly side and the events happen that add to the story of my life.   I have survived.  Now how artful that survival has been, it has simply been my own personal art.

Time to find my kick-ass life...

March 19, 2014
Yesterday, I went on a date, a first date, with a really amazing guy.  We met at a St. Louis Barnes and Noble.  Why?  Coffee!...Caffeine...a required component to daily survival.   Secondly, BOOKS!  BOOKS! BOOKS!  The topics are endless and keeps the conversation going.  Plus, what a better way to learn about someone than through what they read?  Do they read?
I ask they question, what is the last genre that you should find yourself in and actually purchasing a book from when on a first date with someone...that is correct, the self-help section.  Well, that is where I found myself.  I arrived a good thirty minutes early for our meeting.  Why?  I am one of those individuals that likes to scope out their environment, get comfortable, go to the bathroom, and settle into a spot...my spot.  I know that my self-appointed life-coaches (yes, by their own admission and by my acceptance of their leadership and guidance in my life) are reading this and thinking, "Lord, tell us that she didn't?"  They quickly acknowledge that, "Lord, yes she did!"  So with the roll of their eyes and a quick drawn of the cell phone to group text the four of us, only to be chastising me.  The picture of the orangutan to the side is what I look like when my life coaches are giving me what for.

Andrea Owen's 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life. 
I bought the most amazing, motivating, and life changing book,
And so starts the real journey to "finding Miss Marjorie."  Who is, Who was Miss Marjorie?  Where has she been and why?  What has happened?  What will happen?  Why?  When?  How?  the 5 W's and an H, is a simple formula to writing but with very complex questions and even more complex and at times eluding answers.
What do I know right now - thank you, Ms. Oprah - is that I am a survivor of many things that have impacted me in more ways than I ever knew, know, will be learning and in reality, may never know.  I am so very, very blessed to be here and that in reality, I am statistically a miracle for just being here.
I am at a truly cathartic and spiritual point in my life.  I am stripped emotionally stark ass naked for the world to see and to hurt and to take advantage of.  If they, the world or anyone really, can get through the walls that have been a life time in the making, I know that those individuals have to be angels sent to me from God and that they must really love me unconditionally to fight that hard for me.

Chapter 1 - Take Responsibility for your Life and Choices 
I do not, repeat DO NOT, want anyone reading this to feel sorry for me because I do not.  It is my path that God has put me on.  Do I believe that He only gives us what we can handle?  I do but I do just wish He did not trust me so much and could spread it out some.  Plus, it is a waste of time for me or anyone else to feel sorry for me.  I don't have time in this life for all the bull shit.  If you feel sorry for yourself, that means that you see yourself as a victim.  That all the circumstances in life have been out of your control.  Well, they have not, at least not all of them.  I take responsibility for my choices, my actions and I apologize where I need to and accept my role in events.
So, let's just put a few of the things out there that will be a very big part of this journey that I have set out on to Finding Miss Marjorie:
I am the daughter of an alcoholic father.
I am the granddaughter of a verbally abusive grandfather.
I am a pediatric cancer survivor
I am an adult cancer survivor.
I am in financial debt up to my eyeballs ... to the IRS, to student loans, to my auto loan, to four different lawyers, and to my mother.
I am taking responsibility for the choices that I have made and the decisions or actions I have avoided because of fear.
I am one of 2 people that are responsible for the failure of a 15 year marriage that has brought me 2 of my greatest joys in my life - my sons.
I am, somewhere inside of me, the person that I was years ago...some 30 years ago.  But, I know that person is not the same.  That person is older and wiser.

If you have stumbled here through an Internet search or because someone shared it out, welcome.

If you are here because of a personal invitation from me, Thank You.  Thank you for making me accountable.  Thank you for having the strength and love to fight for me when I could not or did not.  Thank You for picking me up and dusting me off or making me do it myself.  Thank You for loving all the perfect imperfections that make me, me.

I have made that choice to remain somewhat anonymous in this travel that I have chosen to document here.  I do not know where this journey will take me, but I may choose to share very inmate and personal accounts or details, and it is not to protect me but to ultimately protect my children.  I have no intentions to embarrass others or to violate any one's privacy.  I share this journey only for others to gain strength from and take the leap of faith that I am taking here.  I guess this is a disclaimer of sorts.

If my writing inspires you, makes you laugh, cry, angry, sad, and any of all those others blah blah blah emotions...then it was for a reason.  Not my reasons, but for your own and that is for you to figure those out.
Get the book!  Come along for the ride.  I can guarantee that it will be a roller coaster you have never before experienced.   You are warned, grab the Dramamine, the Kleenex, your side while snorting in laughter because this train is pulling out of the station.  Please remember to secure your loose objects and keep your hands inside.